2001-10-03

I have nothing to be afraid of

What an amazing woman Tori Amos is! The concert was last night, at The Fox Theatre, and she sounded just wonderful. Tori's selection of songs were very interesting and nice. I had alot of fun, and I didn't even have a panic attack. I felt like I was going to around dinner time, but it passed. My stomach did hurt too much to eat the nice veggie burger that had been placed before me at R.Thomas Grill. I was hungry when I ordered it, I swear. I wasted ten bucks of Ken's money on food I couldn't eat, and that made me feel bad. Ken said that it was okay, and he understood, but I still hate to waste money. (Especially Ken's money)

I also made a bit of an ass out of myself at the dinner table with Ken's sister and brother in law....I brought up something about Ken's ex girlfriend that I probably should have shut up about. I was only bringing it up as a light hearted funny type of story, but I could tell that it made Ken very uncomfortable. I was being rude, unintentionaly. I did apologize to him later though.

Christy really liked the show too, even though she couldn't see very well. It sounded good enough to just close your eyes and soak up the sound.

I made an appointment to see an internal medicine type of doctor this Friday. I know, I hate doctors... but maybe this one can shed some light where the last one did not. If it does not, then I will take the next step and go to the TCM. AND if that doesn't work, than I will just have to think of something else, won't I? I know I have my good points and my low points, but I know for certain that I will be just fine eventually. I so appreciate everyone who worries about me....(I think that is pretty much just Ken and Christy) but I really will be okay soon. I am aware of the consequences of a negative attitude when your body is trying to heal. It is a little difficult to stay positive, but I do try! I do need to bump up the yoga, though.