2004-07-28

A day in the life of a supplement demonstrator

I had a demo this morning at Wh@le Foods. Some demos are defintely better than others, but most of them are annoying. Usually this is because of the people, since health food store shoppers are a strange lot. I know, this includes me. Anyway, here's a little run down of my morning.

I set up my table all nice and neat. I place several boxes of the product on the table along with a price tag, and pamphlets. I mix up a batch of the product (which is an organic, freeze dried fruit and vegetable powder)in a shaker cup with some apple juice. I pour some out into little cups. Then I wait.

What happens now is very funny. There are a lot of people who walk by with very severe expressions on their faces. They keep their eyes facing completely forward, as if just glancing in my general direction might make me think they are interested in what I'm doing, and signal me to jump in front of them with some kind of sales pitch. Rather than jumping or pitching, I just smile. Every so often, one of them will keep their heads facing forward, but direct their eyes in the direction of my table. While doing this, they usually speed up the walking so I don't mistake them for being interested.

Then there are the grazers. They spot the little cups on my table, and mozey over to see what kind of free food they can grub up. When they approach, they quickly see that inside the cup is some kind of brownish green liquid that may pass as healthy. With that, they quickly exit the scene. The grazers are my favorite! I get such satisfaction out of their wrinkled up noses!

Next, there are the "I have no interest in buying anything, but my wife is over in another aisle fretting about which soap to buy, and I'm bored, so I'll see what you are doing" guys. They usually approach the table with a skeptical phrase such as, "So, what are you pushing today?" They taste the drink, they comment on how it tastes better than it looks, then they start talking to me about some random thing that has nothing to do with me. One guy today, for example, asked me if I knew of anything that can help fade scars. Then he showed me a monster of a gash on his bicep. He showed me three more on his leg, and told me that he had more on his back. He was a victim of a home invasion, where a robber tied him up, and proceeded to shank him repeatedly. I told him that if I were him, rather than trying to fade the scars, I would wear them like medals.

Several hours of this, and I have to go pee. I leave my post for the public restroom. When I come back five minutes later, I find my table swarmed with people. As soon as I approach, they scatter like roaches. The table is now almost completely stripped of pamplets and cups. I refill from my back stock. The point of this paragraph is: People want free stuff, it doesn't matter what kind of free stuff it is, as long as nobody has to talk to them in order for them to get it.

Four hours go by, and I start packing up to leave. half of my stuff is already packed away, and a woman walks up to me. "What do you have?" She asks me. I give her a half ass run down on the product, since I'm pretty much packed. She buys one on the spot. I proudly mark the sale on my demo sheet, and get the hell out of there.